Excellent Budget Swedish Meatballs in Stockholm: Slingerbulten

Pretty much everything in Stockholm is pricey and eating Swedish meatballs out is no exception. If you’re hanging out in the Gamla Stan (old quarter), expect to pay about 148 Swedish kroners for traditional Swedish meatballs served with boiled potatoes. And if you’re counting in US dollars or euros, which most of you are, that’s about 16 euros or $25 US dollars. This is an outrageous amount of money for mystery meat served with starch and that price is pretty stock standard in Gamla Stan, with a great exception that we stumbled upon.

We decided to give a cute place called Slingerbulten a try because their posted menu had Swedish meatballs for 98 kroners and salmon for 148 kroners (both dishes a whopping 50 kroners less than everything else we saw posted).

The decor of Slingerbulten is nice too, chandeliers are pretty common in Swedish restaurants and this place sports some medium sized ones along with several pieces of classy art work. Although Stockholm restaurants are very expensive, they are generally very nice.

The portion of Swedish meatballs isn’t huge but it’s filling as the brown gravy sauce is rich, heavy and delicious. It took a few bites to get used to the taste of a savory gravy, mixed with cranberry sauce on a meatball, but once I did I thoroughly enjoyed it. My wife’s salmon dish was excellent as well and wonderfully presented.

I highly recommend this restaurant for the food, service, decor, price and overall value by Stockholm standards. You’ll enjoy the food and you’ll save about $17 US dollars off two very nice meals. The address of the restaurant is Stora Nygatan 24 and is located on the corner of Kokbrinken.

photo credit: me and my meatballs

Why is Red Bull Illegal in France, Denmark and Norway?

It wasn’t until The Monkey's recent trip to Scandinavia that he learned that Red Bull has actually been banned in some European countries. First he learned that it’s illegal in Denmark, then upon further reading he found out that it’s also banned in France and Norway.

So why is this magical drink that “gives you wings” banned in several countries? Apparently it’s all because a few people have died from it and these governments are concerned with the high levels of taurine and caffeine in the beverages. In fact, a new Danish friend that initially brought this to my attention said “it’s dangerous because it has a lot of caffeine,” saying this as she smoked a cigarette and had a vodka and fizzy drink in hand.

And the Danish government is clearly weary of high caffeine doses because they’ve also banned caffeine pills. But what’s the big deal anyways? Coffee contains a lot of caffeine and is far from banned in any of these countries. In fact, last time I checked, the French were known to enjoy a latte or two.

Red Bull also contains glucuronolactone which improves concentration and memory. Additionally, it contains inositol which can lift your mood by pumping extra serotonin to your brain. So a Red Bull is kinda like a coffee mixed with Ritalin and Prozac. No wonder it gives you wings!

Luckily here in the Netherlands there is no ban on Red Bull or equivalent substitutes. In fact, I am currently enjoying a beverage that is simply called “Energy Drink” and carries all the same ingredients as a Red Bull. “Energy Drink” also tastes practically identical to Red Bull but is a fraction of the price as it is produced here in the Netherlands.

You can pick up “Energy Drink” at a Dutch grocery store for as little as 29 euro cents! I was initially blown away by this seeing as how no energy drink in the United States is that cheap. So if you enjoy Red Bull and are traveling around Europe, make sure to stock up before a visit to France, Denmark or Norway. Otherwise you are sure to lose your wings!

photo credit: flickr

The Monkey Presents Jackoff Amsterdam Pictures of the Week: Chocolate Genitals Edition

I was going to get her flowers but the chocolate cocks caught my eye

Tom had other obligations but he couldn’t resist stopping to gawk at large wheels of cheese

Every week the gang gets together for a game of whose underwear is that anyways?

Photos from my personal collection

5 Best Things About Living in Amsterdam

The monkey has already posted the top 5 worst things about living in Amsterdam, here are the best parts.

1)Universal Health Care- I'm starting off boring here and this is more than an Amsterdam thing, but really this is the best part about living in the Netherlands. If you are a legal resident you are required to have private health coverage. But this is a great thing because it is affordable quality health care. I pay 85 euros to a private insurance company who is obligated by the government to fully cover my ass- regardless of any pre-existing condition. And another great thing is that there is no co-pay on pretty much anything. It's free to see doctors and virtually all prescription drugs are totally covered. I even had some blood work done and was not charged a co-pay.

2)"Coffee Shops"- Something fun now! I've lived here over a year and while I rarely visit a coffee shop these days, I love the fact that I can duck into one anytime I desire. And to not only purchase weed or hash from an insane quantity of selections, but to have access to as good of quality stuff as there is anywhere in the world. There are over 200 "coffee shops" in Amsterdam with every theme you can imagine. And some of them are surprisingly nice, clean, friendly, chill and even have great food menus. Also, the coffee is usually excellent too!

3)Beauty of the City- The center of Amsterdam is one of the most well preserved cities in all of Europe with most buildings dating back to the 18th or even 17th centuries. On a nice day it is gorgeous to sit on one of the many canals for beer, wine or whatever. There are so many outdoor cafes to enjoy the city but you can also just plop yourself down on the side of a canal and openly drink alcohol because there is no open container law. Also, if you have a small boat, like many Amsterdamers, even better!

4)Public Transportation- The city has excellent public transportation, especially for a city of less than a million people. Everything is well connected by 4 metro lines and very extensive tram and bus systems that run frequently. And while regular public transport stops before 1am and resumes again after 6am, there are hourly night buses that cover much of the city. You can also ride your bicycle after a late night, though technically you can be charged with a bicycle DUI and they can actually suspend your regular drivers license for this. Lucky I don't have one of those because unless your job requires, you absolutely do not need a car here.

5)Location in Europe- So Amsterdam might not be the most central city in Europe or have the best location for getting around the continent, but it's right up there. It's a small country so in 2 hours either east or south, you can be in either Germany or Belgium respectively. Also, since Amsterdam's Schipol airport also serves as the major international airport for The Hague, Utrecht and other major cities in The Netherlands, it's a huge airport, one of the biggest in Europe. And from Amsterdam Central Station to the airport is only 15 minutes by train. You can not only fly just about everywhere in Europe for reasonable prices but also many places in the world.

5 Worst Things about Living in Amsterdam

There are wonderful things about living in Amsterdam and The Monkey will be listing those, but being a cynical prick he figured it would be fun to start with the worst.

1)Crowds- Amsterdam is not a big city, in fact locals like to call it a "big village," given the small size of the city center, its compactness and the historical preservation of many 17th and 18th century buildings. About 750,000 people reside in greater Amsterdam, yet this is one of the most popular cities in the world for tourists. On a sunny day the city is completely swamped with people (locals and tourists) on Amsterdam's many one way streets with extremely narrow foot paths. If you want space, Amsterdam is not the city for you!

2)Rude Cyclists- I am tempted to write all cyclists here because as a collective they are utterly annoying. When I moved here, the sheer number of cyclists was a refreshing novelty from the car infested cesspool I previously lived (Tampa, FL). But now that I have been dinged at hundreds of times for doing nothing more than just sharing a street walking, they frequently send shivers down by spine with frustration. The typical Amsterdam cyclist is very experienced and confident; resulting is a total disregard for traffic rules. This also leads to the 'get the hell out of my way' attitude- I am cyclist, I rule the roads.

3)Noise- If you live in the city center like we do, this is especially an issue. And this frustration is compounded by weekends and the busy tourist season. If you live in the red light district, I do not envy you as I could not imagine keeping my sanity. During the week there are less people out, but all it takes is a couple drunk people yelling in your alley or from the hotel across to rudely awake you, or keep you up and/or want to pelt them with rotten eggs.

4)The English Factor- So many Dutch, especially in Amsterdam and especially in the city center speak English. So as a native English speaker you might think, what's the problem? Isn't this a good thing? Yeah sure, if you're a tourist here you can enjoy yourself and not have to worry about learning a single Dutch word. But if you live here, how easy is it to learn Dutch if you can walk into a deli, a butcher, the market and get exactly what you want by speaking English? For many, the motivation simply isn't there but it's still important to know the language. If you speak Dutch there are far more job opportunities and you can actually read your bank statements and the random bills the local government loves to send, all the time. Also, the Dutch are cool about you not speaking Dutch if you've lived here under 6 months- "yeah it's a hard language, no problem" they say, "we speak English." But after 6 months many change their tune, "oh, you don't speak Dutch, why not?"

5)Winter and Flat Topography- These things belong together because they are cohorts in creating some general suckiness. Holland is characterized as having a "temperate climate" or "mild winter." And ok, that's true when comparing it with a winter in Siberia, but it still gets very cold here. But generally, not consistently cold enough for fun things to happen, like canals freezing over in the city for ice skating. It also rarely snows in Amsterdam so the city just looks depressing, with gloominess and dead trees. The Netherlands, literally translating to "Low Lands" is basically completly flat. So it's a great country to ride a bicycle but what the hell is there to do in winter? In a nut shell, getting drunk, and this is why the Dutch rank 9th in the world for most alcoholic countries. Thank goodness the beer is cheap!

What is This?

Welcome to "Monkey in Europe," the tale of a primate man called "Monkey" who resides in well, Europe.

More specifically, "The Monkey" as I like to call myself (referring to one's self in the third person is a wonderful way to show that either you are extraordinarily conceded or incredibly insane- for me it's a partial cocktail of both) resides in Amsterdam, Holland and was given this nickname by my now wife, after a local girl in Thailand put a flowered necklace around my neck and said "you monkey boy." And so it came to be.

From this point I will stop referencing myself in quotation marks as I believe The Monkey has been firmly established. This monkey (pictured) moved to Amsterdam from another flat, drug infested land called Florida; just over a year ago, after his wife landed some employment in these here Lowlands. He came with some writing work and opposable thumbs (also pictured) but little else. You'll notice these thumbs extending upward in many photos, showing a) that I probably like what stands behind me- though not necessarily and b) that I am in a photo with something, with either 1 or 2 thumbs raised.

So this site will share Monkey adventures and advice about living in the Netherlands and traveling around Europe. It will also discuss random other topics that aimlessly wander through my head. So grab yourself a banana and have a look around.